Attack Of The Demon Death Bunnies
by Wondering Snow
Summary: This is unbelievable!" Allen groaned. "That you're going to die?" Lavi asked. "That's pretty believable if you ask me." "No, not that." Allen grumbled. "Kanda was right after all." -The Black Order soon finds itself under attack, and it's not by Komllin this time. T to be safe, 2-shot
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (unfortunately). These characters belong rightfully to Kastura Hoshino. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it!-Wondering Snow **

Attack of the Demon Death Bunnies

Out of all the possible ways to die (and there are a lot of ways) this was the one that fifteen year old Allen Walker least expected. Tied down to an alter in some desolate temple with Lavi, Reever Wenham, Bak Chang and other members from the Black Order to be offered up to a (fake) god. By giant, pink talking bunnies with green eyes and fangs that resembled that of a Saber tooth Tiger's.

"I am going to _kill_ Komui even if I have to **crawl** back from the dead to do it!" Reever growled with as much vengeance as humanly possible (or maybe a bit more). "And then I'll bring him back from the dead and kill him again!"

"I'd be more than happy to help." Bak agreed darkly (that was quite obvious due to the dark aura surrounding him).

"Silence insufferable pestilences!" The (Allen surmised) King of the Death Bunnies snarled. "You shall soon speak no more." The fifteen foot rabbit turned away

"Isn't that a comforting thought," Lavi muttered. "I can't believe I ever thought you guys were _cute_."

"This is unbelievable!" Allen groaned and would have palm-faced if he was able.

"That you're going to die?" Lavi asked, craning his head to see Allen. "That's a pretty believable thought if you ask me."

"No, not that," Allen replied grumpily. "Kanda was right after all."

_One week earlier…_

"Oni-chan, what have you done this time?!" Lenalee glared at her older brother, temper simmering.

"Ahh, Lenalee-chan!" Komui said nervously with a cheeky smile, "I didn't realize you're back so soon! Where's Kanda, I need to speak with him-"

"Don't change the topic!" Lenalee sighed and rubbed her temples. _Honestly! Why does Oni-chan always have some wild experiment going on?_

"What on earth?" Lenalee turned to the source of the voice to see Allen who had just walked in, followed shortly by Lavi, whose jaw dropped when he took stock the crazy situation. The three of them and Kanda had just gotten back from a mission in the south of France, where they had discovered a piece of Innocence along with a hoard of Akuma. They had returned to the Black Order the victors, and Kanda had taken the Innocence down to Hevlaska while the others went to report to Chief Komui (when they realized he was at the Science Division Department, they decided to just give their report there as supposed to his overly-crowded-with-papers-office). As it turned out, while they were away the Science Division (cough*Komui*cough) had conducted an experiment (cough*torture-device-meant-to-make-everyones-life-miserable-because-it-will-end-up-malfunctioning-go-belistic-and-evil*cough) that _had _ended up malfunctioning, leaving the Black Order's Science Division with a minimum of two-hundred and seventy-three fluffy green-eyed pink bunnies. And they were rapidly reproducing.

"They're sooo CUTE~!" Lavi quickly overcame his shock and was now holding two of the bunnies with a huge grin on his face. "I'm going to keep them! This one is Yuu-chan-" Lavi pointed to the one in his left hand, smaller than most of them-"and this one will be Old Panda." He pointed to the one in his right, extra fluffy. The mental image of Kanda and Bookman as fluffy pink bunnies and frolicking around with peaceful smiles on their face was one that sent shivers down Allen's (and everyone else's) spines. No. Just no.

"Uh…what are you going to do with all of them?" Allen asked, carefully stepping around the huddles of bunnies, making him look like some sort of dancer that didn't quite know what he was doing.

"We still don't know," Komui answered. "Jonny with probably think of something-"

"Oh no you don't!" Reever interrupted him, not looking up from his desk where he was trying to move the twenty-five rabbits that had decided to nest there. "You made this mess, you clean it up. WE have enough work as it is, not to mention all the trouble that Central is giving us. The last thing we need is Malcolm giving us an even harder time than he already is. Argh! Will you stay off!?" the last part of that sentence was directed towards the thirty-one (yes, more joined their fellow brothers and sisters in the conquest of taking over) bunnies that seemed determined to stay on Reever's desk.

"They could stay with me in my room!" Lavi said gleefully, ignoring Komui's wailing ("How could you be so mean to your hardworking chief after all I've done for you?!) "Look, doesn't this one look like me?" Lavi held up a bunny that had a redder looking pelt and green eyes (as all of the bunnies did) to his face and grinned. "I'm going to name him Zaza!"

"Brilliant!" Komui did a 360 degree change in character from one minute moaning about how unappreciated he was to an uncaring Reever to the next second grinning like a maniac. "I say that they should stay with Lavi!"

"I'm all for that, but what about Bookman?" Lenalee asked trying to help Reever, "He wasn't very happy with Lavi when he let the cow sleep in your room."

Lavi rolled his eye and a 'that doesn't matter' motion with his hand. "He was just grumpy that the cow tried to eat his hair. I'm sure that one that old grumpy Panda sees these cute little guys he's going to-"

"What the !#$%$#!" Kanda had just walked (stormed) into the room expecting to give the last details of the mission only to be surrounded by a sea of fluffy pink balls of fur. It took him 1.4 seconds to draw Mugen.

"Heeeyy! Yuu-chan!" Lavi called to him, and held up the bunny he had dubbed 'Yuu-chan,' "Meet Yuu-chan!"

"Urusai, baka usagi!" Kanda snapped, glaring at Lavi.

"Tsk, tsk Yuu, you shouldn't yell at him like that!" Lavi reprimanded waving his finger at Kanda, "you could hurt Yuu-chan's feelings."

"Do you want to die!?" Kanda proceeded to stalk towards the Bookman apprentice making the bunnies part like the Red Sea.

"Wahhhh! Yuu is being mean again!"

"Ha! Kanda doesn't know how to be anything but that!" Allen declared snarkily.

"Oi Moyashi!"

"It's Allen!"

"Grrr…."

The sound of Allen and Kanda bickering ("Let me show you something you little XXXX-" "Ha! You call that a punch?!" _crack _"Che, you hit like a girl!") was skillfully ignored by everyone else in the room.

"What are we going to do with…however many bunnies there are?" Lenalee asked looking around the wild room. All the commotion had obviously disrupted the scientists work and the bunnies were hopping all over the place.

"Eat them." One of the Science Division guys replied bluntly, clearly annoyed with all the activity that seemed to have flooded the Division in less than twenty minutes.

"What?" Lenalee asked aghast.

"Why not?" The guy asked with a shrug. "They look good enough."

"Welll…" Lavi spoke up, looking at the bunnies uncertainly, "there was once this story that Bookman and I recorded…"

"Yes…?" Lenalee and the guy prompted curiously.

"Well, I'm not really supposed to say this, as it's a Bookman secret, but basically what happened—" the rest of Lavi's sentence was cut off by a foot solidly connecting itself with his jaw. The force from the flying sidekick sent the young Bookman flying straight into Allen and Kanda who had been throwing fists and curses at each other. As Lavi crashed into them, they all went tumbling into a bookshelf that was packed to the brim with papers, books, cans of…well, no one was really sure what was in those things (and no one wanted to find out), vials, and charts. The bookshelf very quickly followed in suit and soon it too came crashing to the ground, papers, bunnies and God only knows what flying everywhere.

"Blabbermouth! I've told you already, those are Bookmen secrets!" Bookman yelled at his apprentice. (When he got there was anyone's guess).

"Oh come on, old Panda!" Lavi said cheekily, "loosen up a bit!" Bookman's eye twitched as he stalked over towards his apprentice muttering something about "I'll show you _loosened up_."

"Usagi! Get your foot out of my face!" Kanda yelled at him (who was busy yelling back at Bookman), trying to shove Allen off of him, which wasn't really working because he was trapped underneath the fallen bookshelf. "Moyashi, you have three seconds to get yourself off me before I slice you up with my Mugen."

"Ha! You can try, BaKanda." And thus the boys went back to the very productive activity they had been doing five minutes ago.

"Would somebody get those bunnies out of here?!" Reever had to yell to be heard over all the shouting (cursing and beating people up) that was going on in the back of the room.

"I can take them to Jerry-"

"No!" Lenalee interrupted the Scientist. "We are not going to cook these poor adorable little things!"

"Actually, maybe we should…" another scientist spoke up. A heated debate soon took place between those who wanted to eat them, and those who wanted to keep them, and that just added to the yelling from the exorcists and chaos from the two hundred something bunnies hopping all over the place.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

Silence.

"Finally," Reever breathed and rubbed his temples. "I can actually hear myself think!" He looked around the room (which looked like a tornado had blown through it) and glared at its occupants. "Now, everyone, including those ridiculous bunnies, are going to walk out that door," he pointed to the exit and they all hastily complied. Boy if looks could kill…"Everyone_ except_ you!" Reever growled at Komui, who had been trying to sneak his way out, and grabbed him by his collar. "And don't you give me any of your lame excuses!" Komui promptly ignored that statement and his wailing declaration of "unhand me you monster, I want my lawyer!" was the last thing they heard before the doors slammed shut, leaving the beat up exorcists (with the exception of Lenalee and Bookman) with now two hundred and eighty-three fluffy, green-eyed pink bunnies.

Brilliant.

**So that's chapter one! Sorry if the characters are a bit OOC, I take the blame for that, as well as all or any spelling/grammar mistakes (and I apologize for that as well…hehe) Next chapter should be up by the end of this week, God willing. Thank you to everyone who read this little story! Be a dear and leave a review ;) They're greatly welcomed XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. These wonderful, beautiful characters belong to Hoshino Kastura. Sorry for any OOCness. **

Chapter two

_Five days later…_

"Kanda!" Lavi burst into the Dining Hall, stopping all conversation. There was a panicked look on his face as he looked around wildly for the Japanese samurai. "The rabbit! It just spoke!"

Kanda, who had been trying to eat his soba noodles in peace and tranquility (yeah right) promptly ignored the hysterical soon to be Bookman.

"W-what?" Miranda Lotto spoke up timidly, eyes wide. "Rabbits can talk?"

Lavi nodded his head so hard it looked as if it would fall off. "I was reading a book when I heard it! It said I looked delicious!" Lavi's eyes were wide in horror, and Miranda's quickly followed.

"Uh, Lavi," Allen said almost hidden behind the mountain of empty plates and bowls. "Rabbits can't talk."

"Well this one did!" Lavi said waving his hands around in the air. The rabbits had grown incredibly fast, and fat for that matter over the span of five days (leave it to Komui). They had had to be moved outside in the courtyard and corralled into a pen that the Science Division fixed up because they wouldn't stop trying to eat things and people. The 'poor adorable little things' as Lenalee called them were long gone, replaced by vicious lagomorphs with attitudes that could rival Kanda's. The pen had an electrified fence around it because some of the bigger rabbits (more like massive rabbits, they were at least fifteen feet tall) had tried several times to escape and almost succeeded sending several Black Order members to the med bay. Lenalee, needless to say had been quite upset, as well as Timothy (he had gotten a kick out of those rabbits) but that quickly turned to anger after the rabbits had tried to eat them. Lavi had been most insistent about keeping his 'Yuu-chan' with him despite everyone's annoyance with having a thirteen foot rabbit bouncing around inside. Thankfully 'Yuu-chan' was much more docile and calm than his brothers and sisters.

"Lavi, maybe hanging around that bunny is bad for your mental health," Back said, who had been visiting for the day. "Where is it anyways?"

"I left it in my room with Bookman, he's watching over it."

"Che, the Usagi never had any to begin with," Kanda said, setting his chopsticks down.

Lavi glared at them, and insisted, "I'm not making this up guys! Photographic memory, remember?"

"Lavi," Lenalee said, "Rabbits don't talk."

"What about rabbits that were a result from Chief Komui's crazy experiments?" Lavi grinned triumphantly at the uncertain looks on their faces.

"Even so…" Allen still looked doubtful.

"Seriously guys, the rabbit _spoke_!"

"You should believe the inferior earthling. Now bow before us!" Everyone's faces turned to one of pure shock as they saw the rabbit 'Yuu-chan' who was most definitely talking, standing in the entrance to the Dining Hall. Two other rabbits flanked its sides, both at least four feet taller than their leader.

"The other pestilences have been dealt with. Now you shall feel the wrath of my kin and I!" Yuu-chan the rabbit snarled at the people in the room.

Immediately the exorcists jumped into action, activating their Innocence and defeating the giant bunnies! Well, that's what they wished had happened. The reality that took place was the complete opposite. Miranda fainted right before the wall to the Dining Hall blasted open and a swarm of giant rabbits stampeded in. Kanda wasted no time in moving forward to slice several open when a rabbit threw a smoke bomb in the middle of the room (where or how the rabbit came into possession with a smoke bomb was a mystery).

"It's gas!" Allen shouted between coughs. "Don't breath it in!" Not five seconds afterwards he passed out, followed shortly by Back, Reever, the staff, and Lavi. Lenalee and Kanda had been further away from the bomb, so they weren't effect as much. The rabbits wasted no time picking up the fallen exorcists and Black Order members.

"Take the sacrifices to the temple!" Yuu-chan The King of the Death Bunnies bellowed. The rabbits obeyed immediately and quick as a flash left the way they came.

"Kanda!" Lenalee called out to the very ticked off samurai covering her mouth. "We can't let them escape!"

"Degenerate being! I command you to dispatch yourself from this location and never incur problems upon us again!" Yuu-chan The King of the Death Bunnies boomed. He stomped his foot down, sending a shock wave strong enough to send the two exorcists flying, where they slammed into the back wall. Blood trickled down from where Kanda hit his head, and he was unconscious not long after Lenalee was. The Rabbit King smiled evilly (can rabbits even do that?) then joined his fellow rabbits.

_A little while later…_

Out of all the possible ways to die (and there are a lot of ways) this was the least one that fifteen year old Allen Walker expected. Tied down to an alter in some desolate temple with Lavi, Reever, Bak and others from the Black Order to be offered up to a (fake) god. By pink, giant, talking bunnies with green eyes and fangs that resembled a Saber tooth Tiger.

"I am going to _kill_ Komui even if I have to crawl back from the dead to do it!" Reever Wenham growled with vengeance. "And then I'll bring him back from the dead and kill him again!"

"I'd be more than happy to help." Bak Cheng said darkly.

"Silence insufferable pestilences!" The (Allen surmised) King of the Death Bunnies (as they had been dubbed) snarled. "You shall soon speak no more."

"Isn't that a comforting thought," Lavi muttered. "I can't believe I ever thought you guys were _cute_."

"I can't believe this!" Allen groaned.

"That you're going to die?" Lavi asked, craning his head to see Allen.

"No, Kanda was right after all."

"Yeah…this sucks. Allen, can you activate your innocence? I can't reach my hammer."

Allen shook his head. "I'm pretty sure they stole some sedatives from the Science Division. I can't move at all right now. It should wear off soon, but until then, we're stuck."

"Brilliant." Lavi muttered sarcastically. "Now that I think about, I shouldn't be so surprised this happened. I mean, I name a bunny after Yuu that turns evil, frees a bunch of demon rabbits, then kidnaps us and plans to offer us up to some sort of fake bunny god? Figures."

"Now earthlings," Yuu-chan the King of the Death Bunnies turned to the captives. "You shall be liberated from this world."

The demon rabbits advanced on their sacrifices and the amount of murder plans for Komui started to reach close to a thousand.

"Accept the offerings!" A rabbit called out. Allen was sure those would be the last words he was ever going to hear (how nice) when Lenalee came flying through the air, her foot smashing into the rabbit, sending it flying.

"Don't you ever hurt my friends," Lenalee glared at the rabbit. She quickly ran over the captured exorcist, freeing them and the others.

"Insufferable incompetent creature!" A rabbit cried. They quickly recovered from the shock of having their fellow rabbit get KO'd by a girl and started to charge at her.

There was then a loud crash as a giant white robot of a thing smashed through the temple and landed between the oncoming rabbits and the prisoners.

"Komlin!" Komui cried who had come to help with the rescue (as well as Kanda and others from the Black Order, mostly the science division). "Attack the rabbits!" The robot wasted no time in fulfilling the order, and soon there was a huge battle between giant pink rabbits and members of the Black Order. The exorcists were attacking with a vengeance, not sparing a single rabbit.

"I can't believe you, Yuu-chan!" Lavi glared at his evil rabbit. "You broke my heart!" With that he swung his hammer at his ex-rabbit. A game of whack-a-mole took place for a few minutes until Lavi finally managed to smash the evil rabbit. There was a small flash of light and when it disappeared in place of the evil king of the Death Bunnies was a dust bunny. Lavi mentally face palmed. Leave it to Komui.

Flashes of light filled the deserted temple as more and more rabbits were returned to their original being. Soon they were all gone, the only evidence of there ever being evil demon rabbits were the dust bunnies floating around.

"Well, looks like that's taken care of." Komui said looking satisfied with himself.

"_Komui…" _The members of the Science Division started to stalk towards their chief, looks of murder and promising extreme pain written across their faces. Komui promptly turned, hopped onto Komlin and made a daring escape.

"Let's bury him under six feet of ruble!" A cry of consent was given and they rushed out after their escaping chief.

"Well," Allen sighed. The sedative had worn off not long after Lenalee had come to their rescue, so he was now able to move again. "I'm starving."

"Me too," Lavi yawned and slung an arm around Allen and Kanda. "Come on, let's go."

"Get your arm off me before I slice it off."

"Awww, Yuu. Don't be so mean!"

The exorcists left the dust bunny filled temple behind and started making their way home. Lenalee and Allen were chatting amiably while Lavi was running around with a huge grin on his face, trying to get away from Kanda who had drawn his Mugen and was spewing insults at him. They were all quite glad the whole ordeal was over.

_The next day…_

_What the ! $%^&*^ in the ! $#%% of !#$# %$#?_

Reever and the rest of the Science Division members stared in shock and infuriation at their department. Or rather what was _in_ their department.

Penguins. An entire rookery of them waddling everywhere. And they were bright orange.

"KOMUUIIII!"

The End

Epilogue (_Somewhere in Europe….)_

"Did you hear something?" Noise Marie asked, tilting his head.

"No," Daisya Barry looked over at his companion. "Why?"

"I could have sworn I just heard someone yell 'Komui.'"

Daisya shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating his lunch. "Weird."

The Final End

**Well, hope you enjoyed it :D Please leave a review and tell me what you think (or if I made any errors). And in case it wasn't clear, yes Komui did create those evil rabbits from dust bunnies. Also there are most likely quite a few potholes, so for that use your imagination ;) Special thanks to Higara and MsAliciaSimoneMichaelis for reviewing and Bleauluffy and MsAliciaSimoneMichaelis for favorite-ing :) (And everyone else who viewed this story).**


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